New mums want to have it all and want to do it on their own

26 Jun

Why are mums so reluctant to accept help?

We want to be super-mums.

mums want it all


We want to have it all.

We want our kids to be well behaved, perfectly dressed, fed healthily and well rounded.

We want perfect marriages, clean cars, immaculate houses and holidays in the sun.

We want satisfied ambitions, toned bodies, down-time and to be emotionally and intellectually challenged.

We want our babies to be fully stimulated, reaching their potential, on track to be superstars and following the manuals.

Is Prince George the best dressed baby?

To be a prince…

And on top of all of that, we want to have time with our friends, to have fun and to be fulfilled.

Simple, right?

How are we meant to accomplish all of this? How can anyone manage all of this without a bit of help?

It seems that new mums are the most reluctant to accept help.  They figure that since they are off of work, that raising a baby shouldn’t be too hard, so why would they need help? After all, changing nappies, feeding, looking after a baby is easy compared to managing a team or a classroom full of children or managing a project or seeing patients.  Is that so? Is it that simple?

Forget about work / life balance! We propose a good baby / life balancehere are our top tips for achieving it and enjoying motherhood in the process:

1)      Don’t be a martyr – you can’t do it all.  If you are struggling with something, get some help.  e.g. if you find the housework overwhelming, consider getting someone in or a friend to watch the baby whilst you clean.

2)      Sleep when the baby sleeps – sleep deprivation is a form of torture, even Arianna Huffington (source) claims sleep will bring you success.  In the early days and weeks of having a baby, get as much as you can.

3)      Don’t try to achieve too much in any given day.  You’ve just had a baby.  Give yourself a break.  You are not going to win a Nobel prize in the first few months after giving birth, focus rather on getting through each day with a smile on your face.

4)      Don’t underestimate how tough it can be to raise a baby.  We’ve had GPs in our groups who have struggled, top intellectuals who have found the transition difficult and ordinary mums who have found it tough.  One sentiment that came out of one of our recent groups, was to accept that getting through the day is your only priority.

getting through tough mum days

5)      Try to enjoy the experience – meet friends, go for walks, play with your baby, video her smiling or just simply relax! It is okay.

6)      Don’t compare yourself to other mums.  It will only make you feel like you are doing something wrong.  You know yourself – if you are struggling, get some help!

Are you a mum who wants to do it all on your own? Or can you accept help when you need it?


One Response to “New mums want to have it all and want to do it on their own”

  1. Lindsey Kettle June 28, 2014 at 5:05 pm #

    This is a great list! With my first I didn’t sleep when she slept but by my second I had learnt my lesson!

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