Nurturing Mum of the Month – October

21 Oct

It’s been a busy few months, but our Nurturing Mum of the Month feature is back! We are really pleased to have Catherine as our featured Mum this month…her gorgeous daughter Hana kept everyone at our Autumn babies postnatal group laughing with her enthusiastic smiles and cheery disposition.  Thanks for the great answers Catherine! Photos taken by our very own Felicity Lass photography at our Meet & Greet sessions.  

mum and baby professional photo

Did everything go according to plan with the birth?

No! Even with pregnancy hiccups along the way, I somehow managed to convince myself I would have the easiest birth.  I imagined I would stay at home until a decent stage and go in and discover that I was already fully dilated and ready to push! No pain relief. Water birth. Done.  Instead, I had all the drugs they could offer me! My husband says I alternated from saying things that were really profound to crazy wacked out stuff. I had Hana after three days of labour and an emergency C-section.

Surprisingly, even though it was so far from what I had wanted and imagined, I really wasn’t that anxious. I gave birth at the Royal Free and had the most amazing midwives who were supportive and sympathetic but a bit stern when they needed to be. I entrusted myself to them and to the doctors and felt very happy and secure in their care.

I had my husband (- I really was in no state to recall anything accurately -) to write down in detail how the labour progressed. I recommend this to others – you forget so quickly.

Had you found out what you were having?

No. We decided that we’d wait for the surprise.  But in retrospect I think I’d change that.  I found it very hard to bond with Hana when she was still inside me.  The ‘baby’ was way too abstract a concept for me.  People advise you to speak and sing etc to your bump but I never really felt at ease doing that.  I think that had I known the sex I would have found it less difficult.  Having said that, when I have number 2 I think I wouldn’t necessarily need to know as I ‘get’ pregnancy now.

Did you get baby blues at Day 3?

Yes.  It didn’t help that with the C-section I still looked massively pregnant.  I sat at the desk with nothing but granny pants, DVT tights and my boobs out to dry my cracked nipples and I wailed down the phone at my sister saying I wasn’t ready to be a mum!

Do you have family around to help?

Some. But I miss my mum who lives in Japan. Her presence can be so restorative.  Something I’d like to emulate for Hana.

What are you finding toughest?

I think you find different things challenging at different times.  Initially, it was the massive life-changing event of having a child.  Now, it’s the change in my identity.  I think for a long time, I was trying to be who I used to be but I now realise it’s not possible. Nor do I want it. Well, maybe just a little.  I need to figure out who I want to be now and fit ‘mother’ in there too.

What are you finding the most rewarding?

Watching Hana’s growth and development.  It is fascinating and divine.

What is your favourite thing about your baby?

Hana has a sunny personality and is very smiley.  Now she is 6 months+ she is much more cuddly too, which is delightful.  My sister said to me before she was born that loving your children defies logic.  They are born and you love them.  You love them so much it feels as though your heart would burst. You couldn’t possibly love them more.  But each day that passes, you do.

What’s the one thing you wish someone had told you before having your baby?

I read a quote once that sums up my experience.  I’m probably misquoting but this is how I remember it: “I knew I was having a baby but no one told me I was having a child!”

I wish I had spent more time thinking about the part AFTER labour!

mum and baby north london postnatal

 Next  postnatal course starts 12 November – join today and meet new mums, learn practical knowledge and gain confidence as a mum! Book here.

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